Refusing to Allow Fear to Dictate Decisions

My race plans for 2025 have and continue to be somewhat uncertain. A part of the reason for the uncertainty was waiting to find out if my application would be accepted and I would be granted a spot at a race that is extremely difficult to gain entry to and has an entry process notoriously shrouded in mystery. No, I did not have hopes of running Western States this year; I am of course referring to the Barkley Marathons. I was notified via an “unchosen” email just a couple weeks before Christmas that I would not be running the Barkley Marathons in 2025. My early reaction was disappointment, which then gave way to a bit of relief. As a little more time has passed, the disappointment has not reemerged and the feeling of relief has only grown. I believe I submitted my application for poor reasons and if I had been granted a spot, very little if any good would have come of it.

The Barkley has never been a race I intended to run. There are races that I'd like to run but because of circumstances (timing/schedule conflicts, travel/registration costs, etc.) would be difficult for me to run. The Barkley was never on this list of races for me. With that being said, what “poor” reasons motivated me to even bother applying? The first is that I honestly thought I had as guaranteed of a spot as possible given the selection process of the Barkleys. Since much of the selection process and criteria is not publicized, it is inherently primarily hearsay. I had heard from multiple credible sources that the winner of Big’s Backyard (regardless of team or individual year competitions) was guaranteed a spot at the Barkleys if their application was submitted properly. Based on this and the fact that I was the last one standing at the Big’s 2025 competition, I thought I had a spot if I just applied. I thought this was an opportunity that could very well never come along again so I told myself that I shouldn’t waste this opportunity even if running the Barkleys wasn’t particularly high or on my list of running goals at all.

Which leads to poor reason number two: I felt somewhat obligated to apply. I felt obligated because it seemed like a rare opportunity and we all know what they say about opportunity knocking. So I attempted to answer that knock at the door, but as it turns out it wasn’t a knock at the door at all. Which explains my initial disappointment. I had gotten myself excited about running this race which so many runners want the opportunity to run and apply to run every year only to be turned away. I became so enamored with the idea of it after Big’s that I decided to stop at Frozen Head State Park on my drive home just to visit the yellow gate. At that time I was pretty certain I’d be back to make an attempt at running the Barkleys. I didn’t have high hopes of finishing or even doing well; but I thought it’d be amazing to be a part of that small group of runners to even make an attempt at the infamous race.

Which leads to what was actually the biggest motivating factor for me to apply and poor reason number three: FOMO, my fear of missing out. In retrospect, the logic really was that simple: everyone else wants to do this and a very select few get to do it, therefore it must be good and I should do it. And that is how I allowed my decision to be dictated by fear. Even if it was the fear of missing out on an opportunity, it was fear nonetheless. Allowing fear to dictate my actions is something I try to avoid. However this time, the fear got the best of me.

I had a sense that applying was a mistake while waiting to find out if I would be granted a spot. I was considering other races to register for in early 2025 and holding off until I knew for certain whether or not I would be running the Barkleys. When I got the “unchosen” email, it was first shock as I was sure I would have a spot, followed by disappointment, and then relief. Relief that I wouldn’t have to travel to a race that I’m not sure I would have enjoyed. Relief that I was now free to register for the races I had been considering with no regrets of missing out on an opportunity due to my lack of effort. Relief and a bit of an awakening as to how I will decide my race schedule for 2025. My schedule will not be decided based on fear or disingenuous obligatory feelings; I feel more free to decide my path this year than in past years.



Scott Snell
5 January 2025

2024 Race Recap

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I hit just over 875 race miles this year in four races. I failed to hit my A goal at my first three races. The weather and trail conditions were a major factor at Dogwood. A lack of motivation was the biggest problem I had at Capital. Concern of pain being a sign of something more serious and wanting to be in good shape for Big’s led to me calling it quits at Bob's. Big's went nearly flawlessly for me. All in all, it was a great year of running and racing!

Dogwood Ultramarathons 48 Hour - 1st, 154.28 miles

https://www.beastcoasttrailrunning.com/2024/06/2024-dogwood-ultramarathons-48-hour.html

Capital Backyard Ultra - 4th, 175 miles

https://www.beastcoasttrailrunning.com/2024/11/2024-capital-backyard-ultra.html

Bob's Big Timber Backyard Ultra - 3rd, 179.16 miles

https://www.beastcoasttrailrunning.com/2024/11/2024-bobs-big-timber-backyard-ultra.html

Big’s Backyard Ultra - 1st, 366.66 miles

2024 Bob’s Big Timber Backyard Ultra

My motivation to run Bob’s Big Timber Backyard started out almost as a joke and I failed to hit the primary distance goal I had set for myself going into it, but all things considered, I am truly happy with how it turned out and so grateful for the race experience as a whole. The joke part started during a conversation between two sleep deprived, exhausted runners after their races ended on the 57th yard at the 2023 Big’s Backyard Individual World Competition. Those two runners, neither of whom were likely operating totally rationally or at full mental capacity given what they had just experienced for the last two and a half days, were Levi Yoder and me. Only a matter of hours after our backyard races had ended, we were already talking about which races we would be running next. That’s when Levi mentioned that the Race Director for Bob’s had gold belt buckles he had been waiting to hand out to anyone who ran 200 miles or more at his race. Thus far, he had not had the opportunity to do so. I immediately commented that if we both ran his race, I think he’d be handing out at least two of those buckles. And that’s how I decided I would sign up for and run Bob’s Big Timber Backyard, to get my hands on a silly gold belt buckle.

Truth be told, the belt buckle motivating me to sign up was mostly a joke. Sure, the special gold edition belt buckle would be cool, but there were other, more meaningful, reasons for me to run Bob’s. The first being the people. I knew Levi would be running it and I always enjoy sharing miles with Levi at backyards. Plus, with it being a backyard in a state where I have never run a race before, I’d get to meet new runners from a different area which is always a fun experience. Which leads to reason number two, it was a new backyard course for me. It had been a while (several years) since I had run a different backyard course, so I was looking forward to a bit of a change from races and courses that were starting to feel like a bit of a routine. The final major motivating factor that pushed me towards running Bob’s is that we were planning to make it a bit of a family trip, not just a race I abandoned my family to go run by myself. For the most part, all those motivating factors came to fruition, factors one and two completely. Factor number three with the family came about halfway to panning out. My wife and I decided that having her care for our younger boys (1 and 4 years old) while helping to crew me was going to be a bit too troublesome, so after a bit of debate I was able to convince her that our two older boys (10 and 12 years old) would be capable of crewing me on their own. Once she connected with Levi’s wife, Carolyn, and had a contact at the race, most of her major concerns were addressed and it was all systems go!

 

The drive from NJ to OH with my older boys made for a fun road trip. The drive wasn’t too far to make in one day, but certainly long enough that I was ready to be out of the car when we arrived at the Hunter Family Tree Farm where the race is held. Upon arrival, Levi greeted us, introduced us to some of the race organizers and volunteers, and even helped us get unloaded and set up at our aid station site he had saved for us. By the time we got everything to a point that I felt it was ready to go in the morning, it felt like it had been a long day. We were all ready to relax a bit and sit down for a good meal before heading to bed for a good night’s rest. We decided to head to the Buckeye Deli which is only about 15 minutes away from the race location to try out their pizza. The buffalo chicken pizza was delish (“bustin” according to my kids)! With full bellies, we headed back to our aid/camp site at the race venue and crashed for the night.

It had been a while since I had run a race where camping was offered right at the start/finish area. It was refreshing just waking up in a tent mere feet from the starting line knowing all I had to do was dress and prep myself a bit to be in the starting corral ready to go. My boys were excited for the race to begin and to be crewing me, so we got a few pre-race photos and videos. I was so excited to have them there with me and to have them crewing me, although a bit nervous about how it would go. The time between waking up and the ringing of the three minute warning bell (Race Director, Bob Hunter, rings a bell 3, 2, and 1 time in place of the traditional warning whistles) went by fast and before I knew it we were off on our first yard to start the race.

 

I spent the first few yards just getting to know the course and conversing with other runners. Early on in the first yard, I was a bit worried about what I had gotten myself into. After running a flat lap around most of the starting area, the course dips off into the woods for the biggest and steepest descent of the day or night course. It was a really fun downhill to run, but with it being a backyard race I was taking it as cautiously as possible to avoid unnecessary wear and tear on my quads. Once you reach the bottom, the trail heads straight back up the other side. My watch (Coros Apex 2 Pro) recorded an elevation gain of 48 feet for the first mile alone. Based on the rest of my watch elevation data, each yard on the day trail course entails about 110 feet of elevation gain, so nearly half of the elevation change occurs during the first mile of every yard. Running the rest of that first yard and learning that the remainder of the course was relatively flat was a bit of a relief to me.

 

The bulk of the first day went really smoothly. It got a little warm reaching a high of about 73 °F, but with the mostly shaded trail course it never felt hot to me. As the day went on and my boys prepped food for me and kept my water bottle filled, all of my worries (would the fight with each other, would they be ok using the camp stove, would they get bored and complain, etc.) about how they would do crewing me disappeared. They actually really surprised me at one point when I realized a nut had come loose from my zero gravity chair and had fallen off. I figured I would just have to be really careful with a loose bolt supporting a part of my chair for the remainder of the race, but at the next interloopal period I came back to find the chair fixed! They had found the missing nut and tightened in back on the loose bolt to give me a pretty proud dad moment.

The first night went as smooth for me as the first day. My boys took shifts waking up to crew me between laps so they could both get a decent amount of sleep. They impressed me again with how well they handled themselves for the overnight portion of the race and took care of me.

The night road course was relatively flat compared to the day trail course; my watch elevation data showed that each yard on the night road course has about 60 feet of elevation gain. It took a few laps on the course for me to get comfortable with it, mainly because of the multiple out and backs it involved. First there was a lollipop type out and back then a short out and back, both to residences. Following that there was a little distance on the country, two lane road followed by two more out and backs. It wasn’t a bad night course but following Bob Hunter as he led the group on the first night yard on his ATV I got a little nervous at how many opportunities there were to take a wrong turn or miss a turnaround if I wasn’t paying attention or was just extremely drowsy. After a few hours of running it though, I started feeling more comfortable and less worried and was able to just coast through most of the night.

 

Day two started feeling a bit tough. It got warmer reaching a high of about 77 °F and it felt much warmer than the previous day. The heat was manageable, but I was feeling the toll of the miles on my body. My boys did everything right to keep me going. They kept encouraging me, feeding me, prepping ice bandanas and cold towels, and staying positive throughout. Even though it was feeling like a struggle at times, I still thought I had a good shot of going far and possibly being able to outlast the rest of the field. It was at some point in midafternoon that I started experiencing just a bit of pain at the back of my lower, left ankle. I didn’t think much of it at the time and just hoped it would ease or disappear completely. As the afternoon wore on though it did not disappear, it only seemed to creep a bit farther from my ankle and up to my calf. It wasn’t worsening, but the fact that it wasn’t getting better and seemed to be spreading started to concern me.

With the majority of the trail laps done for the day, I hoped that when I switched surfaces for the night laps it would improve so I soldiered on for the rest of the day trying not to give the pain much thought. The first couple of road laps did give me hope as it seemed like the ankle/calf pain went away. But over night it came back and seemed worse than at any point during the day. We worked on it and did what we could between yards: CBD pain relief cream, icing, heat pads, and some theragun work. None of it solved the problem. Somewhere in the regime of treatments I did a sock and shoe change that seemed to help for one yard, but then the pain returned just as bad as before.

By the midpoint of the night I was weighing my options. The field had been reduced at this point to just me and two other runners, Ron Wireman and Michael Stutzman. The pain was bad, but it wasn’t preventing me from running and comfortably completing the yards within the hour. I felt like I could push through it. I also wasn’t sure what kind of damage I was causing and how that would impact my training leading up to Big’s Backyard which was only about two and a half months away. My biggest concern was that I would cause enough lasting damage that would not be able to get in the training I wanted for Big’s. I was assessing how both Ron and Michael were looking, neither were showing any signs of quitting. I figured they would both likely make it through the night and once the sun rose again, who knows how much farther they would both be wiling to push? But more importantly to me, who knows what kind of shape my ankle/calf would be in? With all those thoughts and a good degree of uncertainty, but firmly believing I was making the smartest, safest decision given the circumstances, I decided to end my race during the 44th yard. I completed less than half the yard when coming back from the second out and back I had made up my mind to turn back to camp and not complete the remaining two out and backs.

 

My walk back to camp was slow and painful. It was like once I made the decision to not suppress the pain anymore it had free reign in my brain. Michael and Ron both passed me looking strong as I walked back. I was happy to have one more opportunity to wish them luck before returning to camp myself. Levi was there to greet me when I hobbled back. Him and Carolyn had been helping my boys crew me since Levi ended his race at a little over 100 miles (this was a “long training run” to build up for Big’s). I chatted a bit with the race organizers before retiring to my tent to get some rest before the sun came up.

 

After waking up I was expecting the race to go on for a while longer, maybe even into a third night. I was surprised when Michael returned back to camp during the 49th yard. He had reached the 200 mile mark and decided that was where he wanted to end his race. Ron had no problem completing the yard to take the win and the silver ticket, securing his spot on Team USA at Big’s. When the race ended far sooner than I had expected (I only woke up maybe an hour before the end) I started questioning my decision. A big wave of regret popped up. I would have been in the final two had I just stuck it out for a few more hours. As I write this, several months later, that regret no longer exists and I realize it was impulsive and reactionary. Even if I had stayed in to be the assist and challenge Ron for the win, who knows how much longer we would have gone? Who knows how much damage I would have done to my ankle/calf and how that would have affected my training for Big’s? As much as I thought about it and questioned my decision following Bob’s, I was still confident that it was the smart decision to prepare for Big’s, so there was no where near the disappointment that I felt after ending my race at Capital. I also felt zero shame about it unlike my race at Capital. With the advantage of a few months passed and knowing how my training for and my race at Big’s all played out, I am so thankful I made the decision I did and when I did. While it didn’t end exactly as I had hoped and I didn’t go home with a gold belt buckle, I did have a great time, I got to run a new backyard course, meet lots of great folks, and made some wonderful memories with my boys.


Scott Snell                                                         
15 November 2024

                                   

2024 Capital Backyard Ultra

Antifragility When Facing Failure

After 175 miles of consistently running 4.167 mile laps (yards as us backyard folk like to call them) every hour on the hour for 42 hours, I laid down on my back on the hard concrete surface of the multi-use path that is the Capital Backyard Ultra night course and stared at the night sky. I thought about how my race was now over, my decision made to return to the start/finish area after only completing the first of two out and backs required for a full night course yard. I thought about how bad my body hurt, how tired I was, and how I just didn’t seem to be able to find the fight in myself to push on through it as I have at previous backyard races. I felt like a failure. I felt weak, insignificant, and disappointed in myself. I was a quitter. I was very aware at the time that I was experiencing all those feelings as a result of my free will, my choice to end my race when it got hard. I was not happy about it, but I just could not convince myself at the time that I wanted anything that continuing the race would lead to more than just being able to have the race be over.

https://youtube.com/shorts/o5guY6qUEog?si=KC4kze3K_Zg2ocWL

It was a bit of an experience to get to the point I was at when I was laying flat on the pathway with all those thoughts swirling in my sleep deprived brain. It has been an even longer process for me to get to a point where I want to put those thoughts and experiences into words and share them. Today (November 5th as I write this) it has been a little over 160 days since I forced myself back upright to make my slow walk back to the start/finish area to officially end my race.

The race started well enough for me. The first day was smooth and my body felt good. I enjoyed catching up with the runners I already knew and chatting with runners I had just met that day. The weather was a bit warm, but nice; I had no idea how bad my attitude would get as the race progressed. The first night went well with minimal sleepiness. I got some short naps, so I should have been set up well to have a good race.

Starting to get warm.

The second day started well enough. It is always energizing and rejuvenating when the sun comes up again and switching back to the trails for the day course. I felt positive to start day two, but that would all start to change early that afternoon. For whatever reason, the motivation just began to fade as the second day wore on. It was warm, but I don’t blame the weather. I usually handle the heat quite well. This was caused by more than just unpleasant running conditions. As I pushed on and tried to turn my attitude around, it just wasn’t happening. I kept sinking lower and lower mentally.

During some of the later afternoon yards, I got so low and negative that I started thinking about how all my training runs were a waste of time. I look forward to my normal 1-2 hour training runs. They are my time to decompress, sort through my thoughts and emotions, and invigorate me to continue facing daily challenges. Yet here I was viewing them as wasted time. I don't know how many times I have replayed conversations in my head while running and reevaluated things I've said and done, oftentimes attempting to view the situation from someone else's perspective. I've left for runs upset about a recent argument or heated conversation knowing I was right and after a long run analyzing the situation and what was said have returned home knowing that I was in the wrong and owed someone an apology. Any activity that can help you experience empathy and recognize your faults while motivating you to rectify them is by no means a waste of time. But that's what I was telling myself at one point before the sun had even set for the second night of the race.

Prepped for night miles, this is gonna be awesome!

Things didn’t improve for me when we switched to the paved night course and the second night set in. I tried to grind on and at least just embrace an attitude of apathy as it seemed like the lesser of two evils compared to the negativity I was feeling. It worked for a few hours, but it wasn’t enough. I went to my Hail Mary that has saved me at previous backyards and called my wife. She said the right things, but I didn’t want to hear them. It didn’t reignite my passion or fight, but just hearing her voice and efforts to motivate me were enough to keep me grinding on for a few more hours. Several yards later, after experiencing what seemed like the worst pain at the time and difficulty in getting my legs to move at the start of every yard, I started what would be my final yard attempt. I’d force my legs to start a run as they resisted and complained with every muscle and tendon only to inadvertently revert back to a walk after a few paces. After repeating this process many times for the first half mile or so of the yard, I began to realize my race was done. There was sadness and, I’m ashamed to admit it, but also a sense of relief. A short time later, I was flat on my back staring at the dark sky contemplating it all.

Why? It’s always the “why” everyone talks about in ultrarunning. “You must know your ‘why.’” We hear it and read it all over the place: podcasts, blogs, social media etc. Having had a few months to reflect on my race, I believe my “why”, or lack thereof, is the explanation for me having the performance that I was so disappointed with. A big part of why my race ended as it did, I attribute to motivation. Honestly, my heart just wasn't in this race. I registered for Capital pretty early this year because it was a silver ticket race and because I thought it'd be really cool to be the last one standing at a race of Capital Backyard’s stature for three consecutive years. Why would someone not want that? But it takes more than just wanting that outcome because it sounds impressive to do well in a backyard race. A competitive backyard is almost sure to have low points and the “why” is what provides the motivation to push on through them. For me, as amazing and cool as a threepeat of winning Capital sounded, it wasn’t enough to for me to push myself through that second night.

Comparing my race experiences running Capital Backyard in 2023 and 2024 is almost like a textbook case of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivations. My main motivation in 2023 was to prove to myself that I could still compete at a high level at backyard ultras after my wife and I welcomed our fourth son into our family. Being a bit older as a father this time around, having three older boys to attend to and care for, and having a two-month-old baby at home made me question whether I was going to able to be competitive at backyard ultras anymore. Thankfully, I got the answer I was hoping for and was the last one standing at Capital Backyard in 2023. Contrast that with my completely shallow and extrinsic motivation (it’d be cool to say I won this race three years in a row) for running Capital Backyard Ultra in 2024 and the results are not surprising to me. In fact, the contrasting forms of motivation and results encourage me. In a sense, I believe they provide some evidence that I am running these types of races for the “right” reasons. I’m not just chasing the fame, fortune, and all the other accolades that come with doing well at backyard ultras (yes that was sarcasm there) but am running these races for my personal reasons and motivations.



Scott Snell
5 November 2024

A prerace photo with the infamous Topher Swift.

A Tale of Two Training Runs

After I was done pouting about what I considered a disappointing performance at Capital Backyard last month, I decided that I had become too comfortable with my training. I was no longer practicing “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable” or acclimating myself to the discomfort that is almost guaranteed to occur at some point during a multiday backyard race. So I decided to induce some discomfort during my longer training runs as I begin my build up for my next race. My goal was to cover 25 miles with a 20 ounce bottle of water and single SIS gel for my first long run. It was successful in causing a good degree of discomfort, but I bailed on the plan and made an aid stop after a little over 21 miles. After quickly chugging some water and cola, I got back out and finished the last 4 miles feeling great. The goal for my long run the following weekend was 20 miles with the same amount of water and single SIS gel. It was pretty uncomfortable in the heat of the day again, but this time I exceeded my target and covered 21 miles. Will intentionally making my training runs less comfortable help me at my next backyard ultra? Who knows, but I’m excited to find out!

Scott Snell 

21 June 2024

2024 Dogwood Ultramarathons 48 Hour

It’s been almost a month since running my first 48 hour race as I begin to write this report, so I’ve had plenty of time to digest and reflect on the experience. Of course, that also means I’ve had plenty of time for the details and my memory of the experience to become a bit faded and less reliable. Even so, I hope to still present an accurate recollection of the experience as best I can. I’m sure I’ll still get all of the major points correct: I had a big goal, it was going well, weather and trail conditions got bad, my main goal became unattainable, and eventually I settled for a new goal to stay motivated to continue. That’s the summary without any of the details or my thought process throughout. If that sounds like it could be interesting, here’s the full story.
  

I had been considering the possibility of attempting a six day race ever since running for 75 hours at Capital Backyard Ultra last year. With my inexperience in longer timed races fueling me, my naive thought was that if I can last for 75 hours in a backyard format race I should be capable of putting up a solid performance in a six day timed race. Although I was pretty confident of that at the time, and still am, I didn’t want to do anything too rash and just dive into a six day race with the longest timed race I’ve ever done having only been a 24 hour. That was my reasoning for attempting a 48 hour race this year, to test the waters of a longer timed race event. I wanted to see how my motivation would hold up for 48 hours without being forced to hold the required pace at a backyard format race. Which made my target mileage goal pretty simple for this attempt, to hit 200 miles in under 48 hours and then see how I felt and how much farther I could go before time ran out.

I began searching for 48 hour races not too far from home that wouldn’t conflict with other races on my schedule for the year or work and family plans. I finally decided that the Dogwood Ultramarathons at Twin Lakes State Park in Green Bay, VA was the race best suited for me to make this test run. It seemed like it was fate pushing me there as this was the first year the race offered a 48 hour option and the timing was good for all other aspects of my pretty crowded schedule. The course is a 3.35 mile trail loop with about 246 feet of elevation gain which makes for about 7,380 feet of gain for every 100 miles when you do the math. Based on elevation, this didn’t sound like a ridiculously challenging course to attempt two consecutive sub 24 hour 100 milers so I felt like my A goal was well within the realm of possibility. I wasn’t able to find any information on how technical the course was, but from the pictures I had seen everything looked runnable. Without finding anything to discourage me or think otherwise, I registered for the race with a pretty high confidence level of reaching my A goal of exceeding 200 miles.

My training went splendidly and I arrived the morning of the race feeling rested and ready. Although I felt a bit rushed between arriving at the venue and the start of the race, the first day started off really well. The course wasn’t very technical, just a few roots and rocks to remain aware of. The two water crossings were a non factor the first day as the water level was low enough that a couple steps on rocks and you were across with dry feet. The elevation changes were mild with just a few short climbs and descents, none of which were steep or treacherous. I ran my first few laps under my target past comfortably and learned the course. There were a few trail intersections, so you just had to be careful at a few points to make sure you didn’t inadvertently go off course but the course marking made it pretty foolproof.

Everything was going great for me pretty much the whole first day. I felt good and was on pace to get 200 miles in with plenty of time to spare. I didn’t feel like I was over exerting myself to maintain the pace. My stomach felt good and I had no sign of any digestive issues. It seemed like everything was falling into place as I hoped. The only factor left that I was concerned about was the weather. Forecasts predicted storms and steady rain starting overnight after the first day of the race and continuing through the end of the race. The forecasts were pretty accurate; it started raining lightly not long after dark. After a few hours of light rain, it picked up. The trail got sloppy and slick in spots. The water rose at the two water crossings. I got damp and chilled. I tried to just keep moving and run through it, but it was taking a toll on my pace and mental state. After multiple clothing changes and a fall at an especially slick turn on the trail I found myself back at the aid area shivering, feeling pretty chilled. I was at about 84 miles at that point and had been steadily slowing down. The rain was coming down heavy enough that putting on dry clothes had become pretty pointless. I decided it’d be best for me to get warmed up and dried off while at the same time getting in a nap so I could recover a little. It was around 3 AM and I decided to go to my car to do just that.

I hoped it would work out that I’d be rested and refreshed and the bad weather would be over when I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up to the sound of rain hitting my windshield. I had slept a few hours and felt ok, but really wasn’t feeling like getting chilled and running in the rain for another 24 hours. I checked the forecast and it was promising, reporting that the rain should clear out within an hour. This gave me a bit of hope. My A goal was most likely out of reach at this point, or at least much harder to achieve. I checked the race live results to find I was still in the lead, but my lead had been reduced to a pretty narrow margin. Clinging to the lead became my new motivation for going back out and finishing the race. I thought about just packing it in and going home, but continuing to move to hang on to the lead is what drove me back out to run.

Once back out on the course, I was surprised at the first turn when new runners for shorter timed races took a different route. After a quick chat, I found out that the course had been rerouted due to the water crossings becoming too dangerous to cross because the water had risen so much from the steady rain. The course was now a 1.1 mile loop around a lake near the start/finish aid station. Ok, no big deal I thought. During the first loop I learned how much of an impact the rain really had on the trail conditions. A good stretch of the new course was on trail and much of it was a sloppy mess from all the rain. I’d estimate about a half mile was shoe sucking mud. If you’ve ever tried to run on shoe sucking mud, you know how difficult it is to maintain any kind of decent pace. Especially when you have around 100 miles on your legs already. After becoming accustomed to the new trail conditions, I accepted the fact that my 200 mile goal was now definitely out of reach. Without having my A goal to chase, I continued to plod on “running” laps on trails of standing water hiding ankle deep shoe sucking mud.

To make a long story short. It wasn’t much fun from that point on. It was tedious and slow going. It was a constant mental battle. But I didn’t quit and I hung on to the lead being pushed by the second place runner (Aaron Bowers) until about 3 AM. At that point, I felt like my first place finish was almost a guarantee based on the pace Aaron had been running for the last few hours and the amount of race time left. What I was most proud of was that I managed to push on through terrible trail conditions and falling temperatures (it got quite cold and windy after dark that second night) for another 70 miles during the second half of the race to finish with 154 miles total. A huge thank you to Aaron for continuing to push on as without him steadily adding to his distance, I likely would have called it and quit much earlier than I did.

I may not have hit my A goal, but I did go home with a valuable lesson. I was reminded that variables completely out of my control like the weather and trail conditions could have a huge impact on overall performance at a longer timed race. I guess that should be pretty obvious, but having a refresher lesson in the fundamentals never hurts. Additionally, the longer the race goes, the higher the likelihood that one of these events will occur just by the window of opportunity being extended. So how does one control a variable such as inclement weather to be sure it doesn’t have a chance to impact your race? The answer is simple, select a timed race event held at an indoor race venue. Which leads to what may be my target, my A race next year: Six Days in the Dome.

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Scott Snell

5 June 2024

Virginia Adventures Dogwood Ultramarathons: Race Plan and Goals for my First 48 Hour Race

 

I’ll be running my first 48 hour timed race in just a few weeks at the Virginia Adventures Dogwood Ultramarathons held at Twin Lakes State Park in Green Bay, Virginia. I’m venturing into this “new to me” timed race format with some questions, a few hesitations, and a bit of uncertainty. Which is understandable and I would say to be expected as it will be only the fifth timed race I’ve run; I have previously run a pair of 6 hour (Squatchung Surprise and Fat Sass Switchback) and 24 hour races (Adventure Trail Challenge 2021 and 2023).

• Will it be more difficult to run 200 miles during a 48 hour race than in a backyard format race?

• Will I miss those 5-10 minute breaks that are used to refuel and tend to needs on an hourly basis during backyard races?

• Will it be harder to stay motivated to keep moving when it is not forced on me, such as it is with the alternative of not going out for another loop means a DNF at a backyard?

I’ve got more, but in addition to my questions and uncertainties going into this race I’ve also got a very clear goal, to exceed 200 miles by as much as possible. I’m confident I’ll be able to exceed 200 so that’s where my lowest tier goal starts. I hope, if all goes well and I don’t run into any major issues, I’ll be able to push to 240 miles before the clock runs out. If everything goes perfectly, I’ll hit that mileage by completing my final lap with just seconds left in the race after having to push myself to the brink of exhaustion and hammer that final lap.

With the high confidence level I’ve had going into this race, I realized tonight that I may be making a huge error leading up to my first 48 hour race. An error that I’ve made before, actually at my last race, at Big’s Backyard. That mistake is going into any race having a false sense of how difficult it will be; deluding oneself that it won’t be that hard. I did this leading into Big’s, and when it got hard during that third day I fell apart. It wasn’t because it was too hard, it was because it was so much harder than I had told myself it would be. I find myself making a similar mistake of overconfidence going into this race, telling myself it will be easy to exceed 200 miles because I’ve done that on four occasions at backyard races. Well, I think and hope I caught it early enough this time and for the next three weeks leading up to race day I will be thinking about all of the low points of my backyard racing experiences and how difficult they were at times. I know I'll hit low points during this 48 hour race, especially so during the overnight portions of the race when sleep deprivation can really drain your motivation.

As tired and drowsy as I may become on the second night of this race without taking any sleep breaks, I am mentally preparing a few strategies to get through it as best I can while continuing to move and cover as much distance as possible. During a backyard, the things I look forward to during the nights to motivate myself to push on are the sunrise and switching back to the trail loop. Knowing that the sunrise is only a few hours away is always a huge source of motivation for me when feeling especially drowsy while running through the night during a race.

I’ll still have the sunrise to look forward to during this race, but not the course change. But that’s alright because this race will have something else for me to look forward to that I believe will be an even more powerful motivating factor encouraging me to push harder for those last few dark hours of the night, a finish line! A finish line to induce a finish line kick is a luxury you don't get at a backyard ultra. Maybe you get one if you're the last one standing at a backyard and are aware that you are on your final lap, but that doesn't always happen. Oftentimes, a backyard seems to end suddenly, surprising everyone, runners included. Since I know I'll have the set finish time and a very certain count down to it, I plan to use that to my advantage as much as possible.

Hopefully my race goes as planned and I can write about how great it was in my race report and how I plan on testing myself at a longer timed race in the future. But as I very well know, best laid plans don't always pan out or go as we hope in ultrarunning. There are no guarantees. And that is a huge part of what keeps me interested in ultras.


Scott Snell
2 March 2024

2023 Goals Reviewed and 2024 Goals

Enjoy the journey en route to your goals.

It's that time of year again. Time to assess last year's goals and set new goals to work towards in 2024. I figure the best way to do this is to just go down my list of goals from last year.

1. PR and CR at the 24 hr Adventure Trail Run in Triangle, VA. Status: Failed

I made my attempt and came up short of my PR I ran there in 2021. I struggled with some digestive issues, inclement weather, and a lack of motivation, but I still managed to hit 100 miles which was good enough for first place. So although I failed to hit my personal goal, I still went home pretty content with my run.

Here is the full race report.

2. Run Capital Backyard Ultra and be sure to secure my spot at Big's this year. Status: Success

This was my best performance of the year in my opinion. I felt great for pretty much all 75 hours. Then I won an award for a shortened version of my race report that I entered into a writing contest!

Here is the full race report.

3. Run a 12 hour race at the Midnight Squatchapalooza. Status: DNS

4. Run Backyard Squatch again. Status: DNS

5. Run a 200 mile race. Status: DNS

6. Run the individual backyard world championship at Big's Backyard in October. Status: Success… kind of.

Well, I did run Big's Backyard for the individual backyard world championships last October, so in that sense I was successful in that goal. However, just like last year, I felt like I didn’t have the race that I hoped for.

Here is the full race report.

2023 was a mix of success, partial success, a little failure, and a decent amount of failing to attempt. I’m pretty sure I was over reaching when I put together last year’s list of goals. Between professional responsibilities and a super busy family life, there’s only so much time to get away for races. I may still have some lofty running goals for 2024, but there will certainly not be as many. So with that, here are my running goals for 2024 (in chronological order)!

1. Run a 48 hour race - Running a longer timed race is something I’ve thought about a lot since running Capital Backyard last year. I put a lot of that blame for this goal on Victoria Brown who I met and ran lots of miles with there. Victoria is quite an accomplished multi day ultrarunner and triathlete. After chatting with her quite a bit about multi day events, I’m way more interested in them and curious of what I might be able to accomplish. So that is my goal at the 48 hour Dogwood Ultramarathon in Green Bay, VA: to find out how far I can run in a 48 hour period. It’s new to me because although I have run for longer than 48 hours at backyard races on multiple occasions, I have never run for that length of time without the pace restrictions that come with a backyard ultra. I of course have some distance goals in mind (a bottom tier goal of 200 miles, and a top tier goal of hitting 240 miles), but I also have other reasons to be excited for this event. That reason is the fact that my family is planning to join me for this race, something that hasn’t happened since I ran the Backyard Squatch in 2021. And to add to my excitement, my two older boys are planning to pace me for some of my laps during the race and one of them has the goal of running his first half marathon distance while pacing me! I am really pumped to start my running season off with a race experience that I am so excited about!

2. Run Capital Backyard Ultra - I ran Capital last year to make sure that if my spot at Big's was at risk, I’d have a chance to fight for it.This year is partially the same motivation. Although as of now, I feel like my best performance of 75 yards during this two year qualifying period makes my at-large spot pretty safe. The rest of the motivation to go back and run Capital for a third consecutive year is simply that it is an amazing event. Sarah Smith, race director, does an amazing job organizing the event and making sure all of the runners are so well cared for to have their best performance possible. I have greatly enjoyed my long days of running there and all the people I’ve met there. Besides the running and the impressive food spread, I’d say the people are right up there with my top reasons for wanting to go back again. Last year, only my second year there, felt like a reunion. I don’t think I’ve felt that accepted in such a short amount of time anywhere else in my life.

3. Run Bob's Big Timber Backyard Ultra - Why would I plan to run another backyard this year? Like I said earlier, I think my at-large for a spot on Team USA at Big’s is pretty safe this year, so the fact that Bob’s Big Timber is a silver ticket event isn’t a major motivating factor for me. The real reason is all because of a stupid belt buckle. I heard from Levi Yoder, or maybe I read it on Facebook, that the race director of Bob’s Big Timber had special 200 mile buckles designed and made for anyone who breaks 200 miles at his backyard race. Well, so far that has not happened there. It was the day after my race ended at Big’s last year (maybe a bit during the race too, tough to recall exactly) that I was chatting with Levi about this. He had said he intended to go 200 there last year, but no one else running the event was able to continue with him that long. I mentioned that I had considered signing up for it last year and he said I should so we could break the 200 mile threshold. I agreed that if we were both there the race director would very likely get to hand out at least two of those buckles. So that’s why it’s all about a silly belt buckle. I’m being a bit sarcastic there. It is about more than the buckle. I’ve greatly enjoyed all the trail miles I’ve run with Levi, so why not run another backyard with him? Not to mention, I look forward to meeting and running with lots of new folks at a different race to add some variety to my running schedule.

4. Run with Team USA again at the 2024 Backyard Team World Championships - If you read either of my race reports on my two experiences (2022 and 2023) at Big’s Backyard, I think I’ve been pretty forthright and honest about how I feel about my performances there. The bottom line is that I feel like I still have not achieved what I am capable of at Big’s and I still have my best performance at Big’s in the making. I have no excuses for the last two years there. I believe I came up short of what I am capable of there and have come home disappointed both years. This year, my goal is the same as last year: to do my best with no excuses.




Scott Snell
14 January 2023

2023 Big's Backyard Individual World Championships

Prerace photo with my awesome crew man, Marty!

 

DNF Number Two

I’ve run Big’s Backyard for the last two years and both years I put in more training and preparation than I had for any other race. And both years the course sent me home feeling defeated after serving me up with a heaping pile of humble pie. Coming up short of your goals and facing failure can be tough and is usually not a pleasant experience, but it can also be a learning experience that helps us grow and improve in our pursuit. With a few weeks between me and my second DNF at Big’s, I feel like I’ve handled this one emotionally better than the first and I am certain I have learned from this one.

This year’s edition of Big’s Backyard was the Individual World Championship competition, so slightly different from last year’s World Team Competition. The backyard international championship competitions are currently conducted annually alternating between an individual competition (on odd years) held on the original backyard course in Bell Buckle, TN and national team competitions (on even years) run remotely as a satellite competition at the home course of each team. The standard backyard rules apply for both types of competition, but there are some intricate differences between the two types of competitions.

Let me back up a quick second to give a brief description of the “standard backyard” race format for anyone reading who may not be familiar. Basically, it is a race of attrition without a set distance. The race continues until only one runner remains. Hence, these races are also referred to as “last person standing” races. So how are runners eliminated? By not completing a 4.167 mile lap every hour on the hour. Every hour all runners start a lap and must finish before the end of the hour. If they finish early, they must wait until the start of the next hour to start their next lap. With that caveat, this race prevents any runner from building a lead. The cycle of on the hour lap starts continues indefinitely until all but one runner has opted to not continue running or has timed out. The last runner remaining must run one complete lap more than all other runners within the hour time limit before being named the winner. 

Since this was my first time competing in the Backyard Individual World Championship, it felt much different than last year and felt like a pretty big deal to me. I had some really high hopes for my performance and my lowest goal in my set of cascading goals was to improve my PR of 62 yards for the course. Unfortunately, I failed to reach my lowest goal and my remaining goals only went up from there, far out of my reach.

Day 1:
The first day on the trails felt good overall and actually went by pretty quickly. The first 11 hours on the trail felt relatively easy compared to how difficult I remembered the trail being from last year. I spent much of the day meeting and chatting with some of the best backyard runners from all over the world. The rest of the day was spent catching up with the American runners that I ran with as a part of Team USA last year. Some of them I had run with only a few months earlier at Capital Backyard Ultra, but others I had not seen since last year at Big’s. With all of the socializing and just refamiliarizing myself with the trail and my time check points, the first day of trail yards was over before I knew it. It seemed minor at the time, but I was having some intestinal issues and making more stops at the porta potties than I probably should have. I figured it was just nerves and would get better as the race progressed, but in hindsight it may have been more akin to the “pebble in the shoe” analogy where it seems like a minor inconvenience until it leads to a painful blister that really can’t be fixed.

 

Night 1:
The first night on the road brought back many memories. The sky was clear and filled with stars. The temperature was comfortable for which I was very thankful as it was the extreme drop in temperature and strong winds that I credited with a heavy dose of the blame as to why I quit when I did last year. The road yards really felt like a continuation of the first day. As every runner’s pace changed a bit from trail to road, I found myself still meeting new runners throughout the night which helped pass the time and ward off sleepiness. I never felt too sleepy the first night and as the sun rose on the last road yard, I felt refreshed and excited to go back to the trails.

Still early on day 3, I think.

Day 2:
My legs felt good to start the second day of trail running and I didn’t feel too sleep deprived for having run through most of the night. I was still feeling good at this point of the race. I think it was at some point during the second day that I tried to address the intestinal issues I was still having. I took some anti diarrhea medicine to help treat it. I also stopped taking the gels I had been eating hourly and cut off the coconut water I had been drinking between yards. The thought was that I may have been taking in too much sugar or the coconut water was acting as a laxative. I’ve used coconut water at plenty of other backyards and never had these issues, but I had brought a different brand for this race. Ultimately, I don’t know what the cause was, but we were trying to resolve the problem as quickly as possible which meant getting rid of the two readily apparent possible causes. As day two continued, fatigue began to set in and the overall difficulty of completing each yard seemed to be mounting with every yard. I continued grinding and looking forward to the switch back to the road even though I knew it would bring with it the challenge of a second night of sleep deprived running. For those last few day yards on the trail I couldn’t stop thinking about how the trail felt more difficult this year on the second day than it did last year and what an extreme change I had in my perception of difficulty in just 24 hours. My perception of the trail difficulty had made a full reversal: from much easier than I remembered to tougher than I remembered.

Night 2:
It was during the second night that the thoughts of how I was not going to have the race I had envisioned began to materialize more completely, seem more real, and become much more difficult to suppress. I was feeling more sleepy than the first night but not getting much sleep in the few minutes I closed my eyes between each yard. I didn’t feel like I was working super hard, but still I was only coming in with about 7 to 8 minutes to spare. On top of it, I was still having some gastrointestinal issues, so much so that after one of the middle of the night yards I had to make a quick impromptu underwear change (please don’t ask for details, it was bad, but could have been far worse). The second night presented far more challenges than I expected going into this race. Thankfully, I was able to overcome them and survive to see another sunrise thanks in big part to the persistence of my crew and the other runners. My crew man, Marty, did all he could to keep me focused, fed,motivated, and on task even when my attitude in the crew area was pretty crappy. The other runners I ran with during the second night helped keep me motivated to continue pushing at a decent pace as well as keeping me engaged in some conversation to avoid falling asleep while running. The three runners that stand out for me that I ran with when I most needed someone to run with were Jivee Tolentino (who I chatted with for the first time during the second night), Thembinkosi Sojola, and Jason Bigonia. I can’t express how valuable it was to me to share those miles with them in the wee hours of the morning as I was desperately looking forward to the sunrise.

Morning of Day 3, when I was overdressed and still had my headlamp on.

Day 3:
After the second night, my legs were feeling pretty shot and I was uncertain how they would react when we switched back to the trails. I had the same worry last year, fearing my legs would be dead when they hit the trail again and I would time out on the first trail yard of the third day. With that worry in my head again, I hit the half mile road out and back section at a relatively faster pace to bank some time before the remainder of the day course that is all single track trail with some sections that are a bit on the technical side. It surprised me again this year, just like last year, how good my legs felt getting back on the trail after the second night. Other than being overdressed for the weather (I had failed to change out of my long sleeve shirt and kick off my running pants that I had put on as temperatures got a bit lower during the second night) the first yard of day three on the trails was honestly one of my most enjoyable. As I ran that yard, I started to think that maybe things were starting to turn around for my race. Even though I had to make another emergency roadside bio-break (all the while one of the camera drones hovered above my head) on the last road yard, I thought maybe that was the last of my digestive issues. Maybe day three will finally be the smooth sailing yards that I had expected early in the race.

Post race interview.

The next few yards got a bit more challenging, but I was still completing them with 3-4 minutes to spare. That went on until yard 54. Early during that yard I got a bad feeling in my stomach. I thought I was going to vomit and my race was going to be over as I assumed I would likely time out after I emptied my stomach. Only a few moments later, I realized I wasn’t going to vomit but it was about to come out the other end. After I took care of business, my stomach felt better but I was unsure if I would complete the yard before I timed out. I knew I’d have to work for it so I immediately started pushing the pace. It was a struggle, but I made it in almost a full minute before the three minute whistle. Unfortunately, pushing the pace to make up that lost time took a toll on me physically and stressed me out. Which was basically the story for the remainder of my race. I’d go out easy to start the yard in an effort to try to recover from pushing hard during the second half of the previous yard. It felt like I was in a backyard death spiral for the last four yards of my race and I was panicking. It felt like my race was slipping away and there was no way to save it.

A post race chat with Laz and Sandra. 

I had fallen at least a few minutes behind the pace necessary to complete my 57th yard before the halfway point. I’m still not sure how I fell so far off pace so early in that yard, but that’s where I found myself when I caught up with my fellow Team USA member, Levi Yoder. I think we both knew that we were in some trouble at that point, so we both worked together to pick up our pace and push one another. It felt like we pushed really hard for the last two miles of that yard; like red lining and going into a kick to cross the finish line. In reality, we probably barely broke a 10 minute mile if at all. Based on checkpoints we passed as we were hammering, I was estimating we’d complete our yard somewhere between the second and third whistles. We managed to cross the line about one second before the two minute whistle. I’m not sure about where Levi’s mind was at the time, but I was pretty certain my legs would be dead after that push. Levi and I left the corral at a shuffling pace for yard 58, but I think we were still laughing at the time at how ridiculously hard we pushed to complete that last yard. We walked the road out and back debating whether to even go back out on the trail. We agreed to force ourselves to run back through the starting corral on the way to the trailhead. We managed that, but when we got to the start of the trail we both stopped. We had a short discussion about how we would have to hammer the next three miles to complete the yard before the cut off which felt like an impossibility at the time. And so we both pulled the plug right there, turned away from the trail, and walked back to the starting corral.

First time sitting down to relax after the race. 

The feeling of mixed emotions hit soon after as everyone in camp started clapping and cheering for us as we walked back. I was still in the midst of laughing at how the last yard ended when the reaction from everyone at camp suddenly reminded me that it was all over and my race was done. Relief, regret, joy, and disappointment all at once. Even now, nearly three weeks later, I still wonder what would have happened had we continued down the trail. Would some spark of life for a fight to survive and continue have ignited and powered my legs to complete one more yard? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I like to think it would have at least been a possibility. That’s often the attraction and aversion of the backyard format, in my experience. Each race leaves you questioning. Did I do enough? Could I have done more? Where did it go wrong? Where can I improve? When can I try again?

About half of 2022 Team USA - Jason Bigonia, Levi Yoder, Dan Yovichin, Rick Kwiatski, Scott Snell, Keith Van, Kevin McCabe, and Piotr Chadovich

Lesson Learned:
I want to preface this lesson with a quote from a fellow runner at Big's this year and a member of last year's US Team, Dan Yovichin, - “We’re just ordinary people doing extraordinary things.” I think I got it right, or at least close to right. I recall him saying it last year, but this year it hit me a little differently and applies to the major mistake I made and what I learned from it. I made my big mistake before the race even started, before I left home for Bell Buckle, the seed for it probably germinated and began to take root during my training runs between Capital and Big's. What was my great folly? I failed to prepare myself for the fact that accomplishing extraordinary feats is extremely difficult.

A post race brew and chat with Jennifer Russo.

I went into this race overconfident. Then when it got hard, it was shocking. I had been telling myself while preparing that I could definitely make it to the third night and then it would start getting tough. All the while, diminishing the facts that running through two consecutive nights with minimal sleep is tough, covering 200 continuous miles on foot is challenging regardless of the pace, and maintaining normal bodily functions while adhering to the backyard race format time requirements can present additional challenges. So when things got tough and I started struggling more than I expected to during that third day, I wasn't prepared. I panicked. Which I believe made matters even worse, mentally and physically, as I felt like I had lost control. The feeling of panic was at least partially caused by my overconfidence and the unexpected shock of how much I was struggling earlier than I had planned. This concept of a misalignment of actual and expected demands in relation to our capabilities is a topic Steve Magness discusses at length in his book Do Hard Things. I read the book in part to prepare for Big's, so there was no excuse for me to make this mistake other than it is an easy trap to fall into. Magness explains how this blunder often plays out when a goal begins to feel impossible to achieve, stating that we’re more likely to “abandon our pursuit” because why try and continue to suffer if it will just end in failure anyway? Rather than me relaying the information, here’s a short quote from the book:

“When we are overconfident, we set ourselves up for failure. This isn’t idle conjecture: researchers have found this phenomenon in everything from competing in sports to deciding whether to stay in a relationship or quit your job. It’s easy to feel confident in the beginning but when we come face-to-face with the reality that we might fall short of our goal, we experience what psychologists call an action crisis.”

Since I read the book, I should have learned this lesson already, but sometimes it takes experience to learn a lesson. At least I hope that this experience has taught me this lesson well enough so that I remember it and do not repeat it at future backyard races.

Scott Snell
9 November 2023

Cheering on the remaining runners was almost as much fun as running a backyard.