2024 Capital Backyard Ultra

Antifragility When Facing Failure

After 175 miles of consistently running 4.167 mile laps (yards as us backyard folk like to call them) every hour on the hour for 42 hours, I laid down on my back on the hard concrete surface of the multi-use path that is the Capital Backyard Ultra night course and stared at the night sky. I thought about how my race was now over, my decision made to return to the start/finish area after only completing the first of two out and backs required for a full night course yard. I thought about how bad my body hurt, how tired I was, and how I just didn’t seem to be able to find the fight in myself to push on through it as I have at previous backyard races. I felt like a failure. I felt weak, insignificant, and disappointed in myself. I was a quitter. I was very aware at the time that I was experiencing all those feelings as a result of my free will, my choice to end my race when it got hard. I was not happy about it, but I just could not convince myself at the time that I wanted anything that continuing the race would lead to more than just being able to have the race be over.

https://youtube.com/shorts/o5guY6qUEog?si=KC4kze3K_Zg2ocWL

It was a bit of an experience to get to the point I was at when I was laying flat on the pathway with all those thoughts swirling in my sleep deprived brain. It has been an even longer process for me to get to a point where I want to put those thoughts and experiences into words and share them. Today (November 5th as I write this) it has been a little over 160 days since I forced myself back upright to make my slow walk back to the start/finish area to officially end my race.

The race started well enough for me. The first day was smooth and my body felt good. I enjoyed catching up with the runners I already knew and chatting with runners I had just met that day. The weather was a bit warm, but nice; I had no idea how bad my attitude would get as the race progressed. The first night went well with minimal sleepiness. I got some short naps, so I should have been set up well to have a good race.

Starting to get warm.

The second day started well enough. It is always energizing and rejuvenating when the sun comes up again and switching back to the trails for the day course. I felt positive to start day two, but that would all start to change early that afternoon. For whatever reason, the motivation just began to fade as the second day wore on. It was warm, but I don’t blame the weather. I usually handle the heat quite well. This was caused by more than just unpleasant running conditions. As I pushed on and tried to turn my attitude around, it just wasn’t happening. I kept sinking lower and lower mentally.

During some of the later afternoon yards, I got so low and negative that I started thinking about how all my training runs were a waste of time. I look forward to my normal 1-2 hour training runs. They are my time to decompress, sort through my thoughts and emotions, and invigorate me to continue facing daily challenges. Yet here I was viewing them as wasted time. I don't know how many times I have replayed conversations in my head while running and reevaluated things I've said and done, oftentimes attempting to view the situation from someone else's perspective. I've left for runs upset about a recent argument or heated conversation knowing I was right and after a long run analyzing the situation and what was said have returned home knowing that I was in the wrong and owed someone an apology. Any activity that can help you experience empathy and recognize your faults while motivating you to rectify them is by no means a waste of time. But that's what I was telling myself at one point before the sun had even set for the second night of the race.

Prepped for night miles, this is gonna be awesome!

Things didn’t improve for me when we switched to the paved night course and the second night set in. I tried to grind on and at least just embrace an attitude of apathy as it seemed like the lesser of two evils compared to the negativity I was feeling. It worked for a few hours, but it wasn’t enough. I went to my Hail Mary that has saved me at previous backyards and called my wife. She said the right things, but I didn’t want to hear them. It didn’t reignite my passion or fight, but just hearing her voice and efforts to motivate me were enough to keep me grinding on for a few more hours. Several yards later, after experiencing what seemed like the worst pain at the time and difficulty in getting my legs to move at the start of every yard, I started what would be my final yard attempt. I’d force my legs to start a run as they resisted and complained with every muscle and tendon only to inadvertently revert back to a walk after a few paces. After repeating this process many times for the first half mile or so of the yard, I began to realize my race was done. There was sadness and, I’m ashamed to admit it, but also a sense of relief. A short time later, I was flat on my back staring at the dark sky contemplating it all.

Why? It’s always the “why” everyone talks about in ultrarunning. “You must know your ‘why.’” We hear it and read it all over the place: podcasts, blogs, social media etc. Having had a few months to reflect on my race, I believe my “why”, or lack thereof, is the explanation for me having the performance that I was so disappointed with. A big part of why my race ended as it did, I attribute to motivation. Honestly, my heart just wasn't in this race. I registered for Capital pretty early this year because it was a silver ticket race and because I thought it'd be really cool to be the last one standing at a race of Capital Backyard’s stature for three consecutive years. Why would someone not want that? But it takes more than just wanting that outcome because it sounds impressive to do well in a backyard race. A competitive backyard is almost sure to have low points and the “why” is what provides the motivation to push on through them. For me, as amazing and cool as a threepeat of winning Capital sounded, it wasn’t enough to for me to push myself through that second night.

Comparing my race experiences running Capital Backyard in 2023 and 2024 is almost like a textbook case of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivations. My main motivation in 2023 was to prove to myself that I could still compete at a high level at backyard ultras after my wife and I welcomed our fourth son into our family. Being a bit older as a father this time around, having three older boys to attend to and care for, and having a two-month-old baby at home made me question whether I was going to able to be competitive at backyard ultras anymore. Thankfully, I got the answer I was hoping for and was the last one standing at Capital Backyard in 2023. Contrast that with my completely shallow and extrinsic motivation (it’d be cool to say I won this race three years in a row) for running Capital Backyard Ultra in 2024 and the results are not surprising to me. In fact, the contrasting forms of motivation and results encourage me. In a sense, I believe they provide some evidence that I am running these types of races for the “right” reasons. I’m not just chasing the fame, fortune, and all the other accolades that come with doing well at backyard ultras (yes that was sarcasm there) but am running these races for my personal reasons and motivations.



Scott Snell
5 November 2024

A prerace photo with the infamous Topher Swift.

2024 Dogwood Ultramarathons 48 Hour

It’s been almost a month since running my first 48 hour race as I begin to write this report, so I’ve had plenty of time to digest and reflect on the experience. Of course, that also means I’ve had plenty of time for the details and my memory of the experience to become a bit faded and less reliable. Even so, I hope to still present an accurate recollection of the experience as best I can. I’m sure I’ll still get all of the major points correct: I had a big goal, it was going well, weather and trail conditions got bad, my main goal became unattainable, and eventually I settled for a new goal to stay motivated to continue. That’s the summary without any of the details or my thought process throughout. If that sounds like it could be interesting, here’s the full story.
  

I had been considering the possibility of attempting a six day race ever since running for 75 hours at Capital Backyard Ultra last year. With my inexperience in longer timed races fueling me, my naive thought was that if I can last for 75 hours in a backyard format race I should be capable of putting up a solid performance in a six day timed race. Although I was pretty confident of that at the time, and still am, I didn’t want to do anything too rash and just dive into a six day race with the longest timed race I’ve ever done having only been a 24 hour. That was my reasoning for attempting a 48 hour race this year, to test the waters of a longer timed race event. I wanted to see how my motivation would hold up for 48 hours without being forced to hold the required pace at a backyard format race. Which made my target mileage goal pretty simple for this attempt, to hit 200 miles in under 48 hours and then see how I felt and how much farther I could go before time ran out.

I began searching for 48 hour races not too far from home that wouldn’t conflict with other races on my schedule for the year or work and family plans. I finally decided that the Dogwood Ultramarathons at Twin Lakes State Park in Green Bay, VA was the race best suited for me to make this test run. It seemed like it was fate pushing me there as this was the first year the race offered a 48 hour option and the timing was good for all other aspects of my pretty crowded schedule. The course is a 3.35 mile trail loop with about 246 feet of elevation gain which makes for about 7,380 feet of gain for every 100 miles when you do the math. Based on elevation, this didn’t sound like a ridiculously challenging course to attempt two consecutive sub 24 hour 100 milers so I felt like my A goal was well within the realm of possibility. I wasn’t able to find any information on how technical the course was, but from the pictures I had seen everything looked runnable. Without finding anything to discourage me or think otherwise, I registered for the race with a pretty high confidence level of reaching my A goal of exceeding 200 miles.

My training went splendidly and I arrived the morning of the race feeling rested and ready. Although I felt a bit rushed between arriving at the venue and the start of the race, the first day started off really well. The course wasn’t very technical, just a few roots and rocks to remain aware of. The two water crossings were a non factor the first day as the water level was low enough that a couple steps on rocks and you were across with dry feet. The elevation changes were mild with just a few short climbs and descents, none of which were steep or treacherous. I ran my first few laps under my target past comfortably and learned the course. There were a few trail intersections, so you just had to be careful at a few points to make sure you didn’t inadvertently go off course but the course marking made it pretty foolproof.

Everything was going great for me pretty much the whole first day. I felt good and was on pace to get 200 miles in with plenty of time to spare. I didn’t feel like I was over exerting myself to maintain the pace. My stomach felt good and I had no sign of any digestive issues. It seemed like everything was falling into place as I hoped. The only factor left that I was concerned about was the weather. Forecasts predicted storms and steady rain starting overnight after the first day of the race and continuing through the end of the race. The forecasts were pretty accurate; it started raining lightly not long after dark. After a few hours of light rain, it picked up. The trail got sloppy and slick in spots. The water rose at the two water crossings. I got damp and chilled. I tried to just keep moving and run through it, but it was taking a toll on my pace and mental state. After multiple clothing changes and a fall at an especially slick turn on the trail I found myself back at the aid area shivering, feeling pretty chilled. I was at about 84 miles at that point and had been steadily slowing down. The rain was coming down heavy enough that putting on dry clothes had become pretty pointless. I decided it’d be best for me to get warmed up and dried off while at the same time getting in a nap so I could recover a little. It was around 3 AM and I decided to go to my car to do just that.

I hoped it would work out that I’d be rested and refreshed and the bad weather would be over when I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up to the sound of rain hitting my windshield. I had slept a few hours and felt ok, but really wasn’t feeling like getting chilled and running in the rain for another 24 hours. I checked the forecast and it was promising, reporting that the rain should clear out within an hour. This gave me a bit of hope. My A goal was most likely out of reach at this point, or at least much harder to achieve. I checked the race live results to find I was still in the lead, but my lead had been reduced to a pretty narrow margin. Clinging to the lead became my new motivation for going back out and finishing the race. I thought about just packing it in and going home, but continuing to move to hang on to the lead is what drove me back out to run.

Once back out on the course, I was surprised at the first turn when new runners for shorter timed races took a different route. After a quick chat, I found out that the course had been rerouted due to the water crossings becoming too dangerous to cross because the water had risen so much from the steady rain. The course was now a 1.1 mile loop around a lake near the start/finish aid station. Ok, no big deal I thought. During the first loop I learned how much of an impact the rain really had on the trail conditions. A good stretch of the new course was on trail and much of it was a sloppy mess from all the rain. I’d estimate about a half mile was shoe sucking mud. If you’ve ever tried to run on shoe sucking mud, you know how difficult it is to maintain any kind of decent pace. Especially when you have around 100 miles on your legs already. After becoming accustomed to the new trail conditions, I accepted the fact that my 200 mile goal was now definitely out of reach. Without having my A goal to chase, I continued to plod on “running” laps on trails of standing water hiding ankle deep shoe sucking mud.

To make a long story short. It wasn’t much fun from that point on. It was tedious and slow going. It was a constant mental battle. But I didn’t quit and I hung on to the lead being pushed by the second place runner (Aaron Bowers) until about 3 AM. At that point, I felt like my first place finish was almost a guarantee based on the pace Aaron had been running for the last few hours and the amount of race time left. What I was most proud of was that I managed to push on through terrible trail conditions and falling temperatures (it got quite cold and windy after dark that second night) for another 70 miles during the second half of the race to finish with 154 miles total. A huge thank you to Aaron for continuing to push on as without him steadily adding to his distance, I likely would have called it and quit much earlier than I did.

I may not have hit my A goal, but I did go home with a valuable lesson. I was reminded that variables completely out of my control like the weather and trail conditions could have a huge impact on overall performance at a longer timed race. I guess that should be pretty obvious, but having a refresher lesson in the fundamentals never hurts. Additionally, the longer the race goes, the higher the likelihood that one of these events will occur just by the window of opportunity being extended. So how does one control a variable such as inclement weather to be sure it doesn’t have a chance to impact your race? The answer is simple, select a timed race event held at an indoor race venue. Which leads to what may be my target, my A race next year: Six Days in the Dome.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scott Snell (@beast_coast_trail_running)

Scott Snell

5 June 2024

Virginia Adventures Dogwood Ultramarathons: Race Plan and Goals for my First 48 Hour Race

 

I’ll be running my first 48 hour timed race in just a few weeks at the Virginia Adventures Dogwood Ultramarathons held at Twin Lakes State Park in Green Bay, Virginia. I’m venturing into this “new to me” timed race format with some questions, a few hesitations, and a bit of uncertainty. Which is understandable and I would say to be expected as it will be only the fifth timed race I’ve run; I have previously run a pair of 6 hour (Squatchung Surprise and Fat Sass Switchback) and 24 hour races (Adventure Trail Challenge 2021 and 2023).

• Will it be more difficult to run 200 miles during a 48 hour race than in a backyard format race?

• Will I miss those 5-10 minute breaks that are used to refuel and tend to needs on an hourly basis during backyard races?

• Will it be harder to stay motivated to keep moving when it is not forced on me, such as it is with the alternative of not going out for another loop means a DNF at a backyard?

I’ve got more, but in addition to my questions and uncertainties going into this race I’ve also got a very clear goal, to exceed 200 miles by as much as possible. I’m confident I’ll be able to exceed 200 so that’s where my lowest tier goal starts. I hope, if all goes well and I don’t run into any major issues, I’ll be able to push to 240 miles before the clock runs out. If everything goes perfectly, I’ll hit that mileage by completing my final lap with just seconds left in the race after having to push myself to the brink of exhaustion and hammer that final lap.

With the high confidence level I’ve had going into this race, I realized tonight that I may be making a huge error leading up to my first 48 hour race. An error that I’ve made before, actually at my last race, at Big’s Backyard. That mistake is going into any race having a false sense of how difficult it will be; deluding oneself that it won’t be that hard. I did this leading into Big’s, and when it got hard during that third day I fell apart. It wasn’t because it was too hard, it was because it was so much harder than I had told myself it would be. I find myself making a similar mistake of overconfidence going into this race, telling myself it will be easy to exceed 200 miles because I’ve done that on four occasions at backyard races. Well, I think and hope I caught it early enough this time and for the next three weeks leading up to race day I will be thinking about all of the low points of my backyard racing experiences and how difficult they were at times. I know I'll hit low points during this 48 hour race, especially so during the overnight portions of the race when sleep deprivation can really drain your motivation.

As tired and drowsy as I may become on the second night of this race without taking any sleep breaks, I am mentally preparing a few strategies to get through it as best I can while continuing to move and cover as much distance as possible. During a backyard, the things I look forward to during the nights to motivate myself to push on are the sunrise and switching back to the trail loop. Knowing that the sunrise is only a few hours away is always a huge source of motivation for me when feeling especially drowsy while running through the night during a race.

I’ll still have the sunrise to look forward to during this race, but not the course change. But that’s alright because this race will have something else for me to look forward to that I believe will be an even more powerful motivating factor encouraging me to push harder for those last few dark hours of the night, a finish line! A finish line to induce a finish line kick is a luxury you don't get at a backyard ultra. Maybe you get one if you're the last one standing at a backyard and are aware that you are on your final lap, but that doesn't always happen. Oftentimes, a backyard seems to end suddenly, surprising everyone, runners included. Since I know I'll have the set finish time and a very certain count down to it, I plan to use that to my advantage as much as possible.

Hopefully my race goes as planned and I can write about how great it was in my race report and how I plan on testing myself at a longer timed race in the future. But as I very well know, best laid plans don't always pan out or go as we hope in ultrarunning. There are no guarantees. And that is a huge part of what keeps me interested in ultras.


Scott Snell
2 March 2024